Not so good - will try to feel better.
My mood is REALLY bad right now. I am angry. I am depressed. I am afraid I will snap if my husband says anything to me...ANYTHING. But for him to talk to me, he would have to wake up first. I know it must be tiring to be awake for 6 hours, but come on man.
I'm feeling frustrated and lonely. I feel I am the ONLY person in this house thinking about the new baby. I can see now that I will be stuck moving furniture, cleaning, spraying for bugs, and building a crib by myself. Oh, lets not forget the laundry - and finding a place for the laundry. I feel like I could stay home for the next 18 days working 6-8 hours a day on this and I'll barely get done in time. And I'm sure it is all MY fault that no one will help me. I could get my brother to come help - though he would want to be paid, and we know I don't have any money...in a few days I also won't have any insurance. Go me!
I can't seem to quash my sarcastic nature today. I'm crying too. I feel taken advantage of. I feel helpless and powerless. I can't seem to focus on the positive - I am dwelling on the negative and projecting bad things on my future. It's hard not to. In our current situation I feel a lot of doom. I feel like we'll never have enough money, we'll never have our own house, my husband will die at a young age after much suffering, and I'll be left with kids and little else. I don't see progress happening. Not now. Not ever.
I'm sorry to be such a Debbie-downer - I'm just venting and telling the truth of how I feel. The worst part of how I feel, is...deep-down inside, I do NOT think hubby cares about me, the kids, or how any of us feel. Ultimately he doesn't feel/think he is responsible for us or our well-being. He knows that I can't MAKE him do (or pay) anything. It is frustrating.
I am so jealous of those happily married couples...they work together as a team. The couples that take off work to go to important doctor's appointments with each other. Couples that actually cook for each other and eat together. Couples that call or email each other when they aren't together (and are genuinely happy to hear their spouse's voice). Couples that share money, chores, time together, interests.
Maybe I'm down because the only food I've had today is 2 plain biscuits. Around 7:15pm dinner SHOULD be ready - steaks and mac & cheese.
I'm feeling frustrated and lonely. I feel I am the ONLY person in this house thinking about the new baby. I can see now that I will be stuck moving furniture, cleaning, spraying for bugs, and building a crib by myself. Oh, lets not forget the laundry - and finding a place for the laundry. I feel like I could stay home for the next 18 days working 6-8 hours a day on this and I'll barely get done in time. And I'm sure it is all MY fault that no one will help me. I could get my brother to come help - though he would want to be paid, and we know I don't have any money...in a few days I also won't have any insurance. Go me!
I can't seem to quash my sarcastic nature today. I'm crying too. I feel taken advantage of. I feel helpless and powerless. I can't seem to focus on the positive - I am dwelling on the negative and projecting bad things on my future. It's hard not to. In our current situation I feel a lot of doom. I feel like we'll never have enough money, we'll never have our own house, my husband will die at a young age after much suffering, and I'll be left with kids and little else. I don't see progress happening. Not now. Not ever.
I'm sorry to be such a Debbie-downer - I'm just venting and telling the truth of how I feel. The worst part of how I feel, is...deep-down inside, I do NOT think hubby cares about me, the kids, or how any of us feel. Ultimately he doesn't feel/think he is responsible for us or our well-being. He knows that I can't MAKE him do (or pay) anything. It is frustrating.
I am so jealous of those happily married couples...they work together as a team. The couples that take off work to go to important doctor's appointments with each other. Couples that actually cook for each other and eat together. Couples that call or email each other when they aren't together (and are genuinely happy to hear their spouse's voice). Couples that share money, chores, time together, interests.
Maybe I'm down because the only food I've had today is 2 plain biscuits. Around 7:15pm dinner SHOULD be ready - steaks and mac & cheese.
